The Consulting Game and How it is Brokered

​The Consulting Game and How it is Brokered
 
OK, the way consultants get themselves on a banking project is about as crazy as some of the projects themselves when it comes to the incompetents the staffing companies place and the banks or their partners hire. I.T. consulting thus is a game of chance sometimes more than it is a precise science where the teams that are ultimately formed to “do” a project come together based on choosing the “right people” and not a bunch of clowns.

How to identify the “consulting clowns” –

1. Clown who has a fancy resume but not projects much that ever completed and went live – point 1 – in the consulting biz this type of clown is commonplace and is usually identified by his or her pristine resume which if you start to do some checking with the various companies and clients on it does not seem to “hold much water” – point 2 – in the consulting biz resumes are often “cobbled” from other candidates to come up with the “perfect candidate” on the resume who will thus bag the contract and get the job (but can’t do it as you later learn)
2. Clown who comes out of some backwater place on the far side of nowhere who has only done projects in countries whose names we just about never heard of – point – in the consulting biz these people “wander the earth” in search of something or somewhere which usually does not involve someone finding them—that is an ex-wife, bill collector, bailiff, police, former employer, etc.
3. Clown who has a great set of programming skills but when it comes to actually using them effectively falls flat on their face – point – in the consulting biz programming skills are often misinterpreted as meaning that the consultant can “work alone” and can design and program code in a system by themselves – THIS is rarely true – they need careful supervision and someone who controls the overall system design and knows what changes to the program are needed and where – the programmer should never be allowed to work in isolation – that is another recipe for disaster and a lot of time spent on programming that in the end is not what it should be
4. Clown who comes in with a massive list of “project management” skills and experience but cannot write a client specific project plan much less manage one according to what needs to be done, in what order, and when – point – in the consulting biz everyone is a “project manager,” but few of these people have any training AT ALL in management techniques, practical application of those techniques, and quite frequently cannot communicate effectively with client staff and project staff – this is what I call the “when can I have it” type of project manager not the “we’re aware of everything that is being done and needs to be done” type of manager – 90% of the “project managers” you get from consulting firms are more effective with their “whip” than their “thinking” so avoid them
5. Clown who comes in “by helicopter” and knows what needs to be done (we’ve heard of this type of project manager before who comes in and “craps” all over everything, accomplishes nothing and leaves) – point – in the consulting biz many companies only have one or two really TOP NOTCH project managers and they are overstretched having been assigned to multiple simultaneous projects. While these people are generally very good, they are not going to do much management when they are only on the project site a few days a week or, worse, a month. When you hire a project manager make sure you know what the routine typically is for them to be on your project site. Otherwise, you’re paying for a “ghost” which hardly benefits you, the client, or anyone else
6. Clown who is fresh out of college and doesn’t know a thing about consulting but claims to be trained in the “latest stuff” – point – in the consulting biz this a no-brainer. A fresh college grad may be able to do some work of value on a project but mostly the company that “owns” them is sending them to your project for free on-the-job training and to benefit themselves at your loss of efficiency by accommodating such a consultant. If you do have such a person, do NOT pay them, and make sure they are kept busy doing something YOU the client need done and not just sitting around waiting for the project to “do itself.”
7. Clown who is a frequently client side employee or typically a 3rd party manager who has been “put in charge” of the consultants and the project to “see that things go right” – point – in the consulting biz you get all sorts of managers but the one that is always going to lead the project to failure is the “political appointee” or “watchdog” who either the client or the consulting firm has put in charge. These people are often antiquated and out of touch with reality creatures who are not of any value elsewhere in the company and who wind up as project managers to get them out of the way elsewhere. Remember, projects attract three kinds of people—“losers,” “wannabes,” and “heroes.” All are likely to be of little value to you as the client. But they will use your time, money, and effort to cover their rears and make sure that they get “all of the credit” while the people who do or did the actual work get none. Avoid this beast. He’s dangerous
8. Clown who has no interest in anything but joining as a consultant to “cross sell” you more of anything there is – point – in the consulting biz the consulting firms survive by three means: (a) cross selling to existing clients (b) gathering potential new clients via information they pick up from current clients and (c) learning where they can expand their resume of consulting services – keep these types of consultants at a good distance just to be safe and not have them selling you whatever they can just to fatten up their purse
9. Clown who shows up with the entire family (their own kids) and suddenly are demanding that the client provide adequate housing accommodations for them at the client’s expense – point – in the consulting biz this is not so common in Europe and America but it is in Eastern Europe and in some Asian countries—especially on long-term projects in remote locations. This one is not particularly common, but if it appears as a condition that you hire this consultant who is going to transplant the whole family to the location then beware. This consultant is looking for welfare and a free ride and has already made the decision that they are “so wonderful” that you must accommodate them. Tell such consultants to go home. You’ll thank yourself later.
10. Clown who “adjusts” the billing and time sheets and is a master of false reporting – point – in the consulting biz “cooking the books” by consultants for whatever reasons is ALL TOO COMMON and very difficult to spot unless you are really familiar with the project plan and what work is going on week by week – AUDIT what they submit regardless of what it is and always cross-check with your own manager whether what the consultant claims for anything is justified and most of all complete. Many projects have work claimed to have been done but that was (a) not done or (b) more commonly, done to some inadequate level of quality.

You are paying for these people. Know what you are paying for—and getting in return. It’s that simple if you know these ten (10) types of consultants. And if they don’t fit into any of these ten categories listed here, then you probably have a really GOOD consultant and want that person to stay aboard.